hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
