there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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