you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i think i have herpe
just one?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
