Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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