Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
