Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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