he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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