Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
