Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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