My nipple is on Facebook.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
