Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
