I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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