yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
