i permit you to call me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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