this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the gays at disneyland are vicious
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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