omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
