fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im drinking this country out of the recession.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
