I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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