I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
