Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She said her name was "party"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
