Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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