I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
