I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
