Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
