you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
