What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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