If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Still dying that you shit outside
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
