Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize