Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
