When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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