Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
