I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
