Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
