Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
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He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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