she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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