dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize