Me. At least after what I've been through.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have aggressive nipples.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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