I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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