try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize