How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
