Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
