Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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