just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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