My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
