She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
