She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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