Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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