if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was like eating out sand paper
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize