Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
