He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
