***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize