The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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