she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
