Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
