sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Duck Duck Cougar?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
