I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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