how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
