HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
