we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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