Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
