I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
